PPR Staff Victorious in Charity Rematch

On a bitterly cold November evening the Lancaster PPR staff and students came head to head once again in a match to end all matches, in aid of raising money for Children in Need. After the embarrassing 8-4 staff loss back in March, they were out to win.

From start to finish deceitful tactics were used to defeat the students, including stealing one of their best players Sam Mace as goal keeper. The student team came close to scoring on several occasions, but Sam’s defending expertise kept the goals at bay.


Many dirty tricks were employed by the staff, most notably by Captain Simon Mabon, who at one point physically restrained student player Georgi when he got a bit too close to the goal.

The main disappointment of the game however was Theo Sheehy’s lack of denim hot pants this year. But he did make it up with some rather fetching luminous green boots.


The first half ended with the score at 0-0 and the staff increasingly getting aggressive towards the nifty, fast paced, youthful students. But neither side were able to break the scoring stalemate.

The second half ensued with numerous dodgy tackles from either side, including Rob Pilkington almost losing his head to Matthew Johnson’s boots. Student supporters on the sidelines called “tyranny of the academics” as the staff continued to use devious devices to run rings around the student team, preventing them from scoring at every opportunity.

Just as the spectators were losing hope that anyone had the ability to score, in the ninth minute staff team member and PhD student Gareth sunk a goal into the student net. Exceptional time wasting began to proceed from the staff as they attempted to hold onto their lead in the final minutes.


Tension between the student team began to boil over as Theo’s boots didn’t help his passing abilities and shots from Connor and Grant continued to be off target.

The match came to an end with the score 1 – 0 to the staff.

Donations given at the match, as well as proceeds from a bake sale, currently totals over £300. A great effort from all involved, with over £100 more on what was raised last year.

By Lizzie Roberts

(p.s. this match report was completely unbiased)


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